Definately not a Holiday
by Jade Xianghua
Summary: Set during FF7. From hospitals to Costa Del Sol. The Turks never seem to get a break do they? Prologue: Reno vs Hospital.


**Definately not a Holiday**

_Epilogue_

Since the incident of Sector 7, (or as Reno termed it Operation Ouch) Reno had re-evaluated his opinion of hospitals. Hot nurses? He hadn't seen any in the weeks he'd spent in the ward. Hospital food? Worst thing he'd ever tasted. He only had to wonder what evil directed these places if they cooked food that would most like _keep_ a man in hospital. Ward Boredom (Naming things kept him sane, or so he told himself) was practically deserted. He might as well say it was deserted considering his only present company was an old guy who spent ninety percent of the time sleeping. _Fun._ What Reno couldn't get over however was the fact he was forced to wear scrubs; horrible turquoise coloured ones as well, he hated, …no despised, how they clashed with his hair. If he hadn't been under the effects of some strong anaesthetic, he would have liked to see them try to get him to wear them.

_Cowards._

Not only that, he was suspicious that said spawn of evil hospital staff were keeping his visitors from him. He'd only seen Rude twice; and in the spaces of a few weeks that was pretty pathetic. Tseng had come once himself, but to Reno that didn't count. Tseng had come to reprimand him over the 'foolishness of his actions', while he was half sedated no less, and Reno was both annoyed and glad that Tseng had done so. He'd gotten so angry at him he might have ended up saying a few things that he would have immediately regretted. Chocobo boy has still to get his, Tseng had told him that the three he fought had survived and that Sephiroth was on a rampage and that had aggravated the redhead to no end. That spiky haired punk gave Reno a nasty gash down his side because of that...that-ARGH! He could've taken down the other two easy, but no, Mr Big Compensation Sword had to ruin everything.

Damn him and that sword!

The above circumstances led Reno, second in command of the Turks to try and burn a hole in the ceiling with his glare while a nurse was adjusting his bandages. Yep, that's right. He was still here even though he felt perfectly fine, sure a few aches here and there but other than that he was fine for duty. He'd gotten so sick of doing absolutely nothing -considering that usually he was an energetic person- that he'd considered jumping out the window, quite a few times. The fresh memories of pain and jumping from the Sector 7 pillar kept him from doing so.

"Ouch, ouch! Hey watch it woman, I need to be able to use that arm for flying." Reno complained while the nurse removed the bandage from his arm revealing pale flesh, tinted with the light brown of a fading bruise. The same nurse had treated him the majority of the time and had, after a long few days, learned to tune him out. Recently the guy wouldn't shut up however. It was a sign that he had been improving since he had the energy to complain.

"Seriously with all the poking and prodding you guys do you'd think that you were trying to keep me here against my will!" The redhead's tirade continued. "Although, me being me it's understandable -OUCH! Again with the pain!" The nurse had yanked on the bandage a little too hard. She thought she was being fair; the other nurses probably would have killed him by now. After she removed the bandages ignoring the Turk completely now, she examined his arm carefully. The stitches were doing their work and the bruises had almost completely healed; with no more strenuous activity he'd be fine.

"Your arm seems to be healing up nicely." The nurse commented.

"Exactly! It is!" Reno said exasperatedly. "Why am I still here? I should've been long gone, yo." The nurse sighed and mentally counted to three.

"You have other wounds I haven't checked yet." She commented dryly. "Like the gash on your leg." Reno glared at the female. He hated whenever someone would check his leg, mainly because he had to look at it. Well, he didn't _have_ to look at it, just that whenever it was checked his eyes were pulled downwards by some 'unseen force' and he usually ended up staring at the unsightly wound. Each time the nurse assured him that it'd heal to give a normal scar, but whenever he saw it he couldn't believe it. Damn AVALANCHE… The door to the Ward made it's usual creaking noise that Reno had memorized, who insisted it was a horror movie reject door, and the Turk looked to the doorway with slight hope in his eyes hoping that someone from ShinRa (at this point he didn't mind if it was _anyone_ from the company) had gotten off their lazy working asses and come to visit him. The nurse at his side continued to poke and prod at his various injuries while he was distracted.

"Mr …er, Reno?" The woman who had entered through the doorway announced hesitantly. Reno smirked, he'd forgotten to give them a surname and whenever they asked him about it he'd fake amnesia. Eventually they got fed up and stopped asking him. Reno found it quite amusing.

"Still here unfortunately." He muttered.

"You've got visitors." Reno's eyes immediately lit up. Those three little words were the ones that he'd been dying to hear for days!

"For real?" He asked surprised.

"Yes, three of them." She replied sweetly. Damn, why had he gotten suck with the other nurse; this one looked like she actually had a personality. So, three eh? Who could it be? Rude makes one; Tseng would probably be the second… but the third? Oh no! What if it was Rufus? Or worse… Heidegger! Reno sunk down into his bed sheets considerably less happy than he had been. Probably come to demote him… or worse give him the heel- and firing an employee in the Turks gets rather …bloody. Reno doubted it was the latter, sure he'd messed up, but the mission was a lost cause from the beginning. Besides he knew that if they had wanted to fire him, he would have bit the big one before he was given time to recover.

Before Reno was given time to think someone walked in the door. It was Rude! He shot the redhead a sympathetic look before pulling out a bar of chocolate and tossing it to Reno. The injured Turk immediately scrambled out of the layers of bed sheets (despite the protests from the nurse) and stretched over to the end of the bed to retrieve the sweet. Just as he got close enough to grabbing it, the nurse bet him to it.

"No snacks." She said sternly.

"But, but-!" Reno stammered. He'd gotten so close to getting it, _so close._ The nurse looked thoughtful for a moment.

"You'll get the chocolate if you let me finish my check in ten minutes with no protests or interruptions. Deal?" Reno shot a glare at Rude for letting the chocolate get into enemy hands and glanced back at the bar of chocolate in the woman's hands; it was taunting him. He hadn't had any decent food in weeks!

"Deal!" He announced and snatched the bar away from the nurse (who was now smirking) and proceeded to devour the chocolate in a few seconds. Grinning in a satisfied manner Reno licked his lips savouring the taste of 'real' food, and then said.

"Worth it. Hey, thanks Rude. I owe you!" The taller man who had been watching the scene from the doorway, amused, proceeded to walk further into the room and stop next to the redhead's bed. The nurse got up and left, mentioning she was going to get a coffee and come back.

"How're you feeling?" Rude asked gruffly. Reno leant back into the sheets, propped up on his pillow and crossed his arms.

"…Eh, not too bad. Just unbearably bored. How's work?"

"Busy, the usual."

"So three visitors, eh?"

"Tseng is seeing to the new girl." Reno immediately bolted upright in his sheets.

"Huh? New girl?" Uh oh. Warning bells were ringing in Reno's ears.

"Your… replacement. Her name is Elena." Reno could feel an eye twitch forming.

"You're getting rid of me?" Reno yelled indignantly. Rage had sparked up in an instant. Reno was well known for having an explosive disposition; he could easily go from calm to furious in a few seconds. "I thought I was your partner, man!" He added with a slight hurt tone making its way into his voice. His pride had taken too much of a beating lately and Reno by this point was just fed up; fed up and angry. Replaced by some woman? He felt like a kicked puppy …and even puppies had teeth.

"Would you calm down Reno?" A cool voice addressed from the doorway. The speaker had his hand pressing to his temple- probably feeling a headache coming on- and strolled further into the room. He was dressed immaculately from head to toe; Tseng.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't be angry!" Reno snapped folding his arms over his chest.

"You still have your job." Tseng said deadpanned.

"Oh…" Reno immediately deflated. "Wait. …What? I don't get it. The whole meaning of the word "replacement" is to have someone take someone else's position."

"Rude?"

"…" Rude adjusted his sunglasses silently and tilted his head to face Tseng.

"I thought we discussed that I would be handling this." The head Turk said in measured tones.

"He asked who the third person was."

"…"

"Hello? Injured party still confused here!" Reno interrupted causing the two to go silent.

"Right, well Rude was correct when he said that Elena was your replacement-"

"I thought you said I wasn't getting fired!"

"Let me finish Reno!"

"Bah."

"She was originally going to be your replacement while you were here in hospital-" Reno rolled his eyes.

"Still sounds like you're going to fire me." The redhead muttered.

"Reno, I'm warning you."

"Fine, fine…" He gave up complaining for now, Reno knew that he could only push Tseng so far until he snapped and when Tseng snapped he was, for lack of a strong enough word, terrifying.

"Anyway, we have decided that she is going to become a permanent part of the team-"

"See!"

"If you continue the way you are going, I will fire you Reno."

"Shutting up."

"The point is we've taken on an extra member to better equip ourselves in dealing with Sephiroth and AVALANCHE."

"Extra? As in not stealing my job?"

"Exactly."

"Alright, I …suppose I'm okay with it. Where is the girl?" Reno decided he'd meet the girl before he confronted Tseng over the situation. What was wrong with the group at the moment? Another addition could destabilize the way the Turks worked as a team. Besides, Reno hated change, he liked the life he had at the moment (despite being in a hospital) and he didn't need some girl giving him hell. Girls were all well and good when it came to dating them, but working with them was a whole different ball game. Scarlet was an example of this, sure he hadn't dated her, (Who would? That laugh… Ugh.) but when it came to dealing with her in the office she was insufferable.

"No complaining?" Tseng asked surprised at Reno's general level of acceptance.

"Thought I'd give her a chance, yo." Or maybe it was the medicine he'd gotten earlier kicking in.

"…How bad did you say he was bashed up Tseng?" Rude asked smirking.

"Hey! Can't I be in an accepting mood?"

"You?" It took only Tseng a split second to decide. "No."

"…Thanks boss." Reno drawled getting bored of being the centre of the jokes. "So am I going to meet her today or what?"

"Ahem." Tseng cleared his throat. "Elena?" He called out. "You can come in now." Shuffling could be heard from outside the ward as the door clicked open. The girl was about average in stature, wearing the typical navy Turk apparel with a mop of bright blonde hair covering her downcast head. She quickly scurried in and placed herself next to Tseng's side. Reno eyed her curiously; she seemed rather nervous; reminded him of a timid mouse. The girl took in a deep breath and changed to a more formal stance, raised her head and looked Reno in the eye and held out her hand.

"I'm Elena. Nice to meet you sir." She said in a chirpy tone. Reno blinked for a few moments and stared at her hand. _Polite_. Reno was suspicious of her immediately; she was acting so… nice and shy, he was waiting to see whether the other half of her personality would jump out and maul him. People don't become Turks from being nice; more like the opposite. Reno spared a glance to Tseng who was glaring at him. What was his problem? Oh! Right; the hand! Reno took her hand and shook it firmly.

"Reno. So… you were, uh… my replacement right?" Elena just nodded. Heh, not much of a conversationalist. "Gun or sword?" The blonde blinked at Reno wondering where he was going with that out of the blue question.

"Uh, gun." She answered since she usually fought with pistols.

"Hmm. Speed or power?"

"Speed."

"Car or helicopter?"

"Car."

"Field work or paper work?"

"Paper work."

"Gah." Reno made a face. "Team or solo?"

"Depends sir." She answered neutrally.

"Nice save." Reno smirked. "Redhead or bald?"

"W-What?" Elena stammered.

"It's a valid question." The redhead said angelically though the look was ruined by the smile tugging at his lips. Rude shot Reno a glare but he pretended as if he didn't notice.

"Reno." Tseng said exasperatedly while rubbing his temple. "No it isn't. Is it too much to ask for you to make a good first impression?"

"Tseng, I'm wearing turquoise scrubs here! Any chance of making a decent first impression flew out the window the day I was assigned these ugly things!" Rude just snickered at his partner.

"They do clash horribly with your hair…" Elena murmured.

"See! Someone agrees with me for once!" Reno exclaimed. "I told them I wanted another pair, y'know those white ones would have done."

"Here we go." Rude muttered while Elena glanced at him with a confused expression.

"But no, they said they had run out. Run out my ass! I've seen people walking by in them for days. I swear that nurse hates me."

"Once he gets into a rant, he doesn't stop." Rude offered in the way of an explanation.

"Have you seen that nurse? Spawn of evil I tell you. I'm sure she's poisoning my food so I have to stay in this holy forsaken place!"

"Reno." Tseng snapped. "I didn't come here to listen to your complaints."

"You came here out of the goodness of your heart, right?" Reno murmured sarcastically.

"You're getting released." Tseng said having ignored Reno's last statement.

"FINALLY!" Reno yelled while punching his fist into the air.

"Shhh." Tseng and the stern nurse replied (having reappeared at the doorway) in unison.

"Oh, it's you again…" Reno muttered dully while glaring at the nurse.

"Yes it's me again. Remember our deal?" She responded in a mock cheerful manner.

"Uh, I think everything's going fuzzy… You're my sister right?" Reno feigned confusion.

"Nice try. Your amnesia tricks won't work on me." The nurse remarked while she crossed her arms.

"Dammit…" Reno hung his head. Looks like he wasn't getting out this deal. Tseng was looking highly amused.

"This I take it; is the 'spawn of evil' nurse you've been complaining about." Tseng said with a grin.

"Pure evil…" Reno muttered while the nurse began her examination again.

"What's your secret?" The Head Turk asked the nurse curiously.

"Sedatives." She replied sweetly with a wicked glint in her eyes.

"Ah."

"I knew you were slipping something into my drinks. I KNEW IT!" Reno hollered. The nurse yanked harshly on one of the redhead's bandages.

"I said no complaints." Reno shot the nurse as dark a glare as he could manage. Tseng saw this as his queue to leave.

"Well, I'll get the appropriate paperwork signed and see you in an hour or so. Rude, Elena come with me."

"Bye Reno." Rude said and nodded to the fuming Turk.

"Uh, bye sir." The blonde said having been slightly put off by Reno's eccentric manner.

"Hey, wait a minute!" Reno called to Elena. "You didn't answer the question!" Elena stopped at the doorway and turned to face him a small smile on her lips.

"I'm afraid I'll have to say bald." Then she spun on her heel and left. Reno cursed and sank further into his sheets and muttered. "Damn turquoise…"

OoOoOoOoOoOo

"So?" Rude asked Elena when Reno's ward disappeared out of sight. She glanced at Rude and bit her lip while thinking on what she was going to say.

"He's …" She began hesitantly. "Not quite what I expected." Rude nodded in acknowledgement.

"I thought the same when I first met him. …Reno's just Reno." He explained.

"He's… not really the serious type, is he?" Rude let out a small chuckle.

"Not really." He said while shaking his head. "But he is serious about what he does. Besides…" Rude glanced about looking for Tseng, who'd already disappeared to do the paperwork before leaning closer to Elena and muttering quietly. "Between me and you, he keeps the job interesting." Then he walked off ahead to the waiting area leaving a bewildered Elena to make sense of what he said. She stopped in her tracks for a moment and glanced behind her thinking she wasn't quite sure what she'd gotten herself into.


End file.
